A Forgotten Life
by EmeraldFM
Summary: Germany and Italy are told the truth about Germany's forgotten past. Some people can handle big news better than others. Germany is HRE theory. GerIta. German Bros. Angst followed by fluff. Rated T mostly for Romano's mouth.


"I was trying to protect you from France! I had no idea what he would do if he knew you were still alive!"

Gilbert's voice echoed through the room while the other four occupants slowly came to terms with what he was saying. Austria's normally composed appearance was beginning to crack as shock and disbelief colored his features. Hungary seemed torn between tears and anger as she started to pace a little, glancing at the remaining two people sitting on the sofa. These were the two that Gilbert was more focused on at the present moment.

Ludwig sat with his head in his hands, breathing deep. His mind swam with question after question and he tried to search for the best one to ask first. How could it possibly be true? Why was this kept from him for so long? Why was this kept from him at all? Why was it so important for him to know NOW? What kind of life had he lived before the one he now knew?

Feliciano hadn't shown the slightest hint of emotion since Gilbert's confession. But now, Feliciano rose slowly from his place beside Ludwig and walked to stand in front of Gilbert. Gilbert looked as if he meant to comfort him, but before he could begin to speak, Feliciano's fist made contact with his face. Feli then calmly walked from the room without a word. A few seconds after, they heard the sound of the front door opening and slamming closed.

Austria and Hungary stared off in the direction that Feliciano had disappeared. Both seemed shocked by Feliciano's actions. Gilbert also seemed shocked as he clutched his face. Ludwig had not seemed to notice anything happen at all.

Gilbert opened and closed his mouth several times like he wanted to say something, anything, to make the mood in the room even a little bit lighter, but as he watched his brother, he knew there was nothing and decided he had said enough. Ludwig looked as if he was very deep in though and hadn't even noticed the events that had just transpired.

After what seemed like an eternity of silence, Hungary was the first to speak. "Should we go after him?"

Hungary. Always looking after Feliciano.

"Give him time," Austria responded softly. His voice sounded as if he hadn't spoken in days. He then turned his eyes to Ludwig. "Germany?"

Ludwig looked up at that. Hungary was standing beside the chair Austria was sitting in and Gilbert stood a few feet away from the two of them. All eyes were on him as he slowly came to. When he finally came to his senses, he reached over to grab Feliciano's hand as a slight comfort, but found an empty sofa cushion instead. When had that happened?

"Is this some kind of joke?" Ludwig heard his words as if someone else were speaking them.

Gilbert hesitated before answering. "No, it's not. You were The Holy Roman Empire before you were Germany. I found you wandering around the border of what is now Germany just after the empire fell. I recognized you immediately but you didn't seem to remember anything. I gave you a new name and tried to keep you hidden for a while so that no one else would discover you."

"But why would you keep it from us? Especially from him?" Hungary seemed to be the only one capable of forming coherent sentences in order to get some answers from Gilbert. "We had no interest in hurting him. We mourned him when we _thought _he had died. Feliciano more than anyone." She glanced in the direction Feli had retreated minutes before. "How could you do that to him?"

Gilbert's temper seemed to spike at that. "I wasn't too concerned with Italy's feelings at the time. I was trying to protect mein bruder."

"How was keeping this from Germany protecting him?" Austria had finally found his voice. "He has a right to know this more than anyone else and yet he is finding out at the same time as the rest of us."

Ludwig felt conflicted about the conversation going on around him. While he appreciated Austria and Hungary showing such concern for him, he didn't understand what all this had to do with them. He had also never known his brother to be so fiercely protective, not even when he was younger.

"Please stop shouting, you're giving me a headache." Ludwig put his head in his hands once again and breathed deep trying to clear his head. After a few minutes of silence, he looked up again to find Gilbert crouched in front of him. Austria and Hungary were nowhere in the room.

There was no trace of humor on Gilbert's face, only concern and when he spoke, it was in the softest voice Ludwig had ever heard him use. "I'm sorry, it wasn't fair to tell everyone else when I told you. I should have told you privately."

While he was upset that it had practically been a public announcement, he didn't wish to dwell on it. He wasn't one to hold grudges or even stay mad for too long. If his brother would give him the answers he wanted, then he would be satisfied.

"Why did you keep this from me?"

Once again, Gilbert seemed to think before he spoke. Then he started speaking slowly. "You didn't remember anything when I found you. You had been through so much as Holy Rome, had made so many enemies. I thought you would be happier starting over from scratch."

Ludwig nodded his head minutely and opened his mouth to fire off his next question, but Gilbert continued to speak a little faster.

"But I can see that wasn't the best option. While you did get a new start, you were leaving behind a whole life, even if you knew nothing about it. I had never really considered that before today. But now I see how much it hurt the people you were close to back then. While you're still close to most of the same people now, you could have been around them the entire time. I'm sorry about that too."

"I knew Austria and Hungary?"

"You lived with them in Austria's house. I considered taking you back there and hiding you there because I knew they would defend you, but in the end, it seemed like a better idea to keep you a secret. The less people knew of you, the better. But they were very fond of you. They thought of you and Feliciano as their children, so you can understand why all this upset them as well."

"Feliciano?" Ludwig had forgotten about Feliciano's surprise disappearance and was suddenly concerned about where he had gone. While he was a little unnerved about Austria and Hungary being privy to this conversation, he realized he wanted Feli there.

"Yes, Feliciano lived there too. I wasn't sure, but I thought the two of you were close. Now I know it, since he punched me in the face before."

Ludwig shook his head. "What?"

"Is my face not swollen? I wouldn't be surprised if it was. I didn't think the kid could hit that hard." Gilbert rubbed at his face as he spoke.

That didn't seem like Feli at all. He was usually such a nonviolent person that it bordered on ridiculous, especially in a war.

"Why would he hit you?"

"I'm pretty sure that's something you'll have to ask Roderich or Elizabeta about. I don't know too much about your old personal life. But like I said, I'm pretty sure you and Feliciano were close."

This news surprised Ludwig and also made him a little happier about this situation. So his best friend had actually been in his life for much longer than he thought. While the Italian had once been an annoyance to Ludwig, he now found himself looking forward to their time together and almost dreading their time apart. He had grown used to his kitchen overflowing with the smell of pasta and the mess in the spare room which mostly consisted of art materials and old paintings that Feli had done in his spare time. He had even gotten used to waking up in the mornings to find the Italian curled up next to him as if it were his own bed. As if he belonged there. His longing for Feliciano to be there suddenly increased tenfold as even more questions manifested in his mind.

"What do you remember from your childhood? Any memories at all?" Gilbert's questions interrupted Ludwig's train of thought.

"Um...a few scattered memories here and there. But they're mostly just images here and there. Nothing concrete. And I think most of them are battles."

Gilbert looked a little sad at that. "I guess that's not too surprising. You were always fighting when you were Holy Rome. That's a big reason why I didn't want to tell you about anything. I wanted you to have a better life than you had had so far.

Gilbert looked as if he wanted to say something else but decided against it. He simply patted his brother's knee and stood up. "I'll leave you alone for a bit. Is that okay?"

"Yes, thank you." Ludwig was grateful for the opportunity to think in peace.

Ludwig sat in his study deep in thought. Two days had passed since Prussia's confession and things seemed to slowly be getting back to normal. Well, somewhat. He had mostly been left alone for the last couple of days so who knew what would happen when he started to factor in other people to his life now. He also knew he had an abundance of work that was piling up more and more everyday, but it was difficult to pay attention to such things in his situation. It would just have to wait longer.

He considered calling Feliciano to talk to him but he didn't actually know where he was, so that made things more difficult. He had so many questions he wanted to ask Feli. Had they really been close? What had he been like as a child? And why had this revelation been so upsetting for him?

While Ludwig had originally been distressed about all this, he was becoming glad that Gilbert had told him. After wondering about his lost childhood for years, he finally knew. It was a relief to say the least but at the same time, it felt like there was more to it all that he hadn't been told and wanted to get to the bottom of.

A knock on the door interrupted Ludwig's thoughts.

"Come in."

A few seconds later, Hungary entered the room. She smiled at Ludwig kindly and walked towards his desk and handed him a beer.

"Your brother thought you could use this. I volunteered to give it to you because I wanted to see how you were doing."

Ludwig gave her a small smile and thanked her for the beer. As he took a sip, he realized how much he had needed it. He also slowly realized that Hungary was someone who had known him as Holy Roman Empire. Maybe she could answer some of his questions.

"Could I ask you some questions? I hate to be a bother but -"

"Honey, you're not a bother at all!" Hungary seemed to get very excited at the idea of talking to Ludwig. It seemed odd. The two of them had never had anything against one another but at the same time they had never been that close. They weren't even on a first name basis with one another. He had never seen her so pleased to speak to him.

"You were close to Holy Rome, er, me? Back then?" Ludwig didn't think he had never felt more awkward than he did in that moment. He realized it was probably going to be like this no matter who he talked to about this. How many people had to ask about their own past as if they were asking about someone else? He also didn't think he'd ever get used to thinking of himself as Holy Roman Empire.

"We weren't incredibly close, no." Hungary started. "But we did live in the same house. I rather enjoyed watching you and Feliciano together. It was such a joy having children in the house all the time. The two of you made it so much brighter."

Hungary smiled at him and gave him time to organize his thoughts before he spoke again. He appreciated that. It made this much easier.

"I know that Feli lived there as well." Hungary gave him a knowing look which he wasn't sure how to interpret. "We're we close?"

Hungary actually laughed at his question. "Yes, you were. Like I said, I enjoyed watching the two of you together. You were adorable. But I don't think you knew how to act around one another. Feli would always ask me what your actions meant and I think you asked Roderich for advice on several occasions as well. But I think he was less help than I was for Feli."

"Why would I need advice about Feli?"

Hungary suddenly looked as if she'd been struck. "Oh. Well."

Ludwig knew he had hit upon the topic that everyone was still keeping from him. He leaned forward towards Hungary, eagerly awaiting her answer but she was certainly taking her time forming a coherent sentence.

"Um...you...and Feli...well..." She took a deep breath. "You were rather fond of each other."

Ludwig shook his head slightly. "Fond of each other? I think we're fond of each other now. Why is that so shocking?"

"No, dear." Hungary sighed. "I mean, you liked each other. You were children, so I don't think you knew exactly what you were feeling, but I would go as far as to say the two of you were in love."

Love? Him and Feliciano? They had been? What?

Ludwig felt that he must have looked like a fish out of water. He opened his mouth several times but nothing came out. He was aware that he and Feli had a friendship that was always verging on something else, but the idea that they already had a past that he didn't remember was a little too much to process.

Ludwig downed the entirety of his beer before finally finding his voice. "You're sure about that?"

"Oh yes, dear. Feliciano was devastated when he heard that you had died. You know how he's such a happy person. He spreads joy everywhere and when he's sad, it's very much the same. He would always talk about how things would be when you came back. He would constantly fix sweets so they would be ready in case you came back at a moment's notice. Even after you died. I don't think he wanted to accept it. It took him a long time to finally move on."

There was moment of silence while Ludwig processed this. All of this was the sweetest and saddest thing he had ever heard, and it had all been for him. But shouldn't Feliciano be happy to find out that Holy Rome hadn't died? Why did he run off as soon as he had found out?

Hungary seemed to read his mind. "I think Feli is pretty angry at Gilbert. If he had told us all sooner, it would have saved Feli a lot of pain; It would have saved all of us a lot of pain."

"You think he ran away because he is mad at Gilbert?"

"I doubt that's the only reason. It's not in Feliciano's nature to be like this, so I'm sure he has a good reason. He just needs some time. But I'm sure he'll be back soon. And he'll be so happy to see you." Hungary smiled again. "You still feel the same way about him don't you?"

Ludwig thought he must be red from head to toe in that moment. "What? What are you...? What?"

Hungary laughed softly and placed her hand over Ludwig's. "Dear, it's obvious to everyone who sees you together how the two of you feel about one another. You're...very fond of one another." She winked at him.

Ludwig kept his mouth firmly shut but Hungary only seemed to take his silence as confirmation. She laughed again and turned to leave.

"You seem like you have a lot of work to do." She nodded to his desk which was covered in papers and folders. "I'll leave you alone if you have no more questions."

Ludwig shook his head.

Hungary hesitated before walking closer towards Ludwig instead of towards the door. He was confused about what she was doing until she gently wrapped her arms around his body. "I'm so glad to know you're back and safe," she whispered in his ear.

She pulled back and gave him one last smile before leaving his study and closing the door. Ludwig was now alone once again with nothing but his thoughts which were now even more numerous.

Later that day, Ludwig had finally managed to clear his head enough to get a little work done. He was just looking over a document from his boss when he heard a loud banging from downstairs. After a moment of confusion, he assumed his brother was doing something ridiculous, as he was prone to do, and returned to his work. After only a few seconds of silence, his ears were assaulted with the sound of someone screaming angrily in Italian.

It could only be Romano.

Well there went his chance of getting any work done.

Since Feliciano wasn't here, and after what Hungary had told him earlier, he thought it a safe assumption that Romano was here to see him, and reluctantly left his study to head downstairs.

When he reached the living room, he found Gilbert backed into a corner by a seething Romano. Gilbert looked half horrified and half confused. Not surprising since he still had a nice black eye from the last Italian that had been angry at him.

"Where is your brother, dumbass?" Romano shouted at him.

Gilbert looked like he had no idea what to say even though it was a simple question. He glanced over to where Ludwig was standing and his eyes widened slightly. He pointed towards Ludwig. "He's there!"

Romano turned his head in Ludwig's direction and immediately started stalking towards him. "You!"

Gilbert took the opportunity to run out of the room, probably enjoying any space that didn't include Feliciano's angry brother.

Ludwig wished he could enjoy the same luxury. He knew Romano must be there for Feli for some reason but he had no idea what could possibly make him this angry. While Romano was always in a foul mood, Ludwig didn't think he'd ever seen him _this_ angry.

"You can't pick up a phone? Do you know what my brother has been doing for the last couple of days? Hm?"

Ludwig held up his hands defensively. He had no idea just how much Romano knew and he didn't really feel up to revealing anything he had learned in the last couple of days. So, he played dumb. "What are you talking about?"

Wrong move.

If Ludwig thought Romano was at his angriest before, then he was beyond livid now.

"What the fuck do you mean what am I talking about?! My brother has turned into a fucking mess for the last couple of days. And I don't mean the fucking mess that he usually is. I mean a fucking mess that I can not deal with anymore! He barely leaves his room and barely talks. He only comes out to eat a couple of bites of pasta, and that's pretty much just once a day. Yeah, he's not even eating. That's the kind of fucking mess I'm talking about."

Ludwig stared a Romano. What was this about? Feliciano was supposed to be happy that he was back, right? He was supposed to come back on his own in a few days with a smile on his face and asking if it was alright if he used his kitchen to make pasta. This wasn't at all how things were supposed to go.

"Um, may I ask why?"

"What the fuck do you mean why? You dropped a fucking bombshell on him. You're Holy Rome. You! You've been here this entire fucking time and didn't say a damn word?"

Ludwig was suddenly confused. "He knows that I didn't know that. Gil- uh, Prussia told us both just the other day. It was the first I had heard of it."

"I don't care! Do you have any idea how miserable he was when you left? You asshole! It was all I could do in a day to make sure he was happy enough to get by. And when you '_died'_," Romano actually used air quotes when he practically spat the word. "- it was even worse. He blamed himself for your death. God knows why, I don't understand how you're worth any tears."

Ludwig recoiled from Romano's words as if he had been slapped.

"And now you don't even remember, well that's just great. Don't you have a fucking phone, asshole? You think you're the only person having a strong reaction to all of this? Get a fucking reality check, bastard. You need to call him right now and set all this straight!"

Ludwig felt his heart sink at everything Romano told him. Feliciano blamed himself for everything that had happened to him, but why? It wasn't his fault. He suddenly had a horrible feeling that Feliciano might not just be mad at Gilbert but at him as well. He realized that the last few days had been hard on more than just himself and he had some things to work through in order to get through them. His and Feliciano's friendship might just depend on it. Well then he would just have to seek out Feli himself.

He began to walk towards the door.

"Where do you think you're going, bastard? I'm not done yelling at you!" Romano called after him.

"To your brother. He's in Venice?"

Romano seemed shocked at the question. "I said call him, you potato freak, not go to him."

"I need to see him. This should be done in person. It should have been done days ago."

Romano seemed to hesitate before divulging his brother's whereabouts. "No, he's in Rome. But you better make this better. If I hear you've only upset Feli even further, I will kick your ass! Do you hear me?!"

Ludwig rolled his eyes as he grabbed his keys and coat and walked out the door. Romano's words weren't very threatening coming from him. But at the same time, he took them to heart. If he only upset Feliciano further, he would probably let Romano do what he could to him. But for now he couldn't dwell on possible failure. Feliciano needed him.

Ludwig arrived in Rome late that night and was very glad that Romano was not there. He needed to speak with Feliciano without the possibility of being interrupted. He quickly found a key that was hidden under a flower pot by his door and let himself into the house. The place was silent and dark except for the light that came from street lamps. He was not completely accustomed to this house since it was Romano's. He was used to Feli's smaller home in Venice. But he had a hunch where he might be. He quickly made his way up the stairs and stopped in front of the first door on the landing.

Ludwig knocked on the door softly, hoping that Feliciano would be awake and willing to speak to him. It had occurred to him on the way over the Feli might possibly not want to speak with him at all. Romano hadn't specifically said that Feliciano had wanted to see him and it had sounded like Feliciano was pretty hurt and angry.

His thoughts were interrupted by a soft voice from the other side of the door. "Go away, Romano."

Of course, he wasn't expecting Ludwig. Damn, this was a terrible idea. He thought briefly of turning around and leaving but then he would have driven all that way for nothing and that would be a waste of time. He turned the knob and pushed the door open.

The room was dark except for the light coming in from the open door. There were clothes strewn around the room, but that wasn't unusual. What was unusual was the morose atmosphere of the room. Hungary had been right when she said that every room the Italian entered seemed to overflow with happy energy and the lack of such made Ludwig's stomach twist uncomfortably. The bed covers were wadded up and tangled all over the bed making it apparent that its occupant had been there for quite some time. Ludwig wasn't sure he would have been able to tell where Feliciano was exactly if he hadn't shifted slightly under all the blankets. He was on the far side of the bed, as far from the door as possible. Ludwig dared to speak.

"It's me."

Ludwig saw Feli's body stiffen.

"I'm not sure if you really want to talk to me. I'm aware that you and I were close when we were younger, but I must confess that I do not remember anything. I am so sorry if that upsets you. I understand if you do not wish to see me right now or ever again." Ludwig stepped timidly into the room and closed the door behind him as he spoke. He slowly made for the side of the bed where Feli was curled up. He sat down beside the bed with his back resting against it. He didn't look at his friend curled up in bed so that he didn't lose his nerve. "But I very much wish we could talk things through. You are very important to me, and I do not wish for us to not speak. However, from what I have been told over the last couple days, it would seem you have every right to be angry with me."

When he was done speaking he looked over his shoulder to see whether Feliciano was listening. He was a little shocked to find his eyes wide open and staring intently back at him. There was no anger in his eyes. In fact, there was very little emotion at all. The usually talkative and lively Italian merely shook his head minutely and spoke in the softest voice Ludwig had ever heard him use.

"I'm not angry at you. Not any more."

Ludwig exhaled sharply; He had been unaware he was holding his breath. He relaxed a little at Feliciano's words.

Feliciano hesitated before he spoke again. "I'm sorry I ran out. I should have been there for you."

Of all the places Ludwig thought this conversation was going to go, he hadn't expected this. Feliciano wasn't even concerned about himself at the moment.

"It's fine. I needed some time to myself to think anyways." Ludwig gave him a small smile.

Feli returned the smile though it didn't quite reach his eyes. Ludwig felt his stomach twist again. He hated seeing Feliciano like this. He was always so happy and that's how he should always be. He should never be unhappy or unsure. Always smiling and talking and spreading joy where ever he went. That's how he should be. Ludwig decided that he wasn't leaving until he could make his friend feel better.

"Have you been in here this entire time?"

"Yes." Feli's reply was instant. "I needed time to think as well."

Ludwig took a deep breath. 'OK, here we go' he thought to himself. If he and Feliciano were going to even remain friends he knew they had a lot of things to work through. Better to work through it now than to drag it out. "Tell me what you were thinking about."

Feliciano started picking at the sheet that was draped across him. He seemed to be contemplating exactly what to say. "It's weird to think that you're Holy Rome. I mean, now that I know that, it seems a little obvious. But, I've spent centuries missing this person only to find out that they've been in my life for the last hundred years. And not just in my life, but my best friend. And I'm not blind, I know you're not either, there's something else there between us that we don't really acknowledge-"

Ludwig spluttered and blushed at how forward Feliciano was being.

"-but it's so different now, because now we actually do have a history together. Not just as allies or friends, but as something more. And you don't remember it." Feliciano's face became even sadder, if that was possible. "And I know I should just be looking at you as just Germany, because it's not fair to you to see you as Holy Rome, too. But that's very difficult for me. I hope you understand."

Ludwig felt his heart sink a little at these words. It was true that he wasn't Holy Rome. Even if he wanted to be, he couldn't give that to Feli, no matter how much he wanted to in this moment.

"I'm sorry." It felt like an awkward apology since it was something he couldn't do anything about anyways, but what else does one say in this situation? He doubted anyone else had been in this situation so asking for advice was not really an option.

"That doesn't bother you?"

"It does, but I understand why you feel that way. If our places were reversed, I would probably feel the same way. I just wish I could remember. At least the parts with you."

Feli smiled again. "We had some good times, but a lot of those were bitter sweet. I like our memories better."

Ludwig was a little taken aback by that but was curious about Feli's choice of words to describe their past. "Tell me about us? I would very much like to hear about it." He paused and quickly back tracked when he saw Feli's face. "Only if you want to! Of course you don't have to talk about it."

Feliciano's jaw hardened and Ludwig briefly thought that he had said all he was going to say. To his surprise, Feliciano extended his hand towards him with his palm up and resting on the bed. Ludwig hesitated only briefly before lifting his hand and placing it in Feliciano's. Feli closed his eyes and began rubbing small circles onto Ludwig's hand with his thumb.

"You used to chase me around, demanding that I join your empire," started Feli, softly. Ludwig could hear the small smile in his voice. "You were so concerned with getting me to join you that I don't think you knew what to do when I was finally there. You would sneak up behind me and tug on the apron I'd wear while cleaning. Then you'd run away."

"Oh, mein gott." Ludwig brought his free hand to his face to hide his embarrassment.

Feli giggled, sounding a little more like his usual self. Ludwig felt his stomach flutter at the sound.

"It was endearing. After a while, once you had gotten used to me being around, you would find excuses to be around me, but you were always so shy. You once asked me to teach you to draw, and when I grabbed your hand to help you, you ran away."

"I'm sensing a pattern here," muttered Ludwig.

"Yeah, you tended to do that." Feliciano's face darkened and he seemed to slip back into his bad mood as he spoke.

Ludwig tensed at the words. He could already see where this was going.

Feliciano was silent for a moment then, ever-so-slightly, he shifted closer to the edge of the bed, closer to Ludwig, then began again.

"I got into trouble a lot when I lived at Mr. Austria's. His favorite punishment was sending me to bed without dinner. But every time it happened, food would always be pushed under the door. It took me a long time to realize it was you looking after me. It took me even longer to realize that when you gave me food, you went without. I guess you could say that you've always looked after me."

Ludwig warmed at Feli's words. It made him happy to hear how similar their relationship had been then compared to now.

"So we were together?" Ludwig felt himself blush at his own words.

"Not really." Feli seemed to contemplate the question. We hung out a lot and when you left, you admitted your feelings for me, we kissed, and you promised that you would come back to see me.

"Oh..." He never did make it back. That's a good reason for anyone to be upset at someone, a broken promise.

"I'm also pretty sure you thought I was a girl."

Ludwig felt his face redden and eyes widen. He turned his face away towards the wall, but not before Feli saw and smirked. Dammit. He was trying to make Ludwig uncomfortable and lighten the mood. Ludwig glared at him.

"Is that even true?"

"There was one time when you were swimming in the river and I joined you. You freaked out because I was naked. Even for you, that seemed prudish."

"If that's all the evidence you have -"

"Everyone thought I was a girl until I reached puberty. I wore dresses all the time and had a high pitched voice. I don't know for sure that you thought that, but it wouldn't surprise me in the least if you did."

"...Why did you wear dresses?"

"Elizabeta thought I looked cute in them." He said this as if it were obvious.

Ludwig resisted the urge to face palm. But he felt his annoyance abate as he continued to talk.

"And of course that made me sad too. Would you have felt the same way for me if you had known I was a boy?"

"Yes." Ludwig slapped his free hand across his mouth as soon as the word was out. This was not the time for sappy love confessions. He and Feliciano needed to talk this through if they were to remain close. He heard a sharp intake of breath come from the bed but refused to look in that direction. A change of subject was certainly necessary and there was one question he was desperate to ask.

"Um...Did you really blame yourself for what happened to me?"

"I still do." Feli's reply was so soft Ludwig wasn't sure if he'd really heard it.

"Why?"

"A few years before you left, you asked me to join with you. You said that together we would be the strongest country in the world; The great Roman Empire once again. I turned you down because I saw what happened to Grandpa Rome. I didn't want that to happen to you as well."

Ludwig's interest in what happened to Rome was piqued, but he quickly bit his tongue when he noticed the sadness in Italy's eyes. He looked so very small in that moment.

"You left not long after that, anyways. When I was told what happened to you, all I could think was maybe if I'd been there, I could have helped. Maybe things could have been different. I was so angry at myself for saying no to you. I was angry at big-brother France for what he did to you. And I was angry at you for leaving in the first place. You don't know how hard I tried to convince myself that I hated you and that I never loved you. I knew even then that it wouldn't work. I could never hate you." He buried his face in the pillow as tears began to fall from his eyes. Ludwig could just make out the muffled words Feliciano was still speaking into the pillow. "Why do you always seem to want more than you already have? If you'd been satisfied with what you had, you wouldn't have left.

Ludwig did not know what to say. He had never felt so helpless. He wanted to let Feliciano know that he was here and there was no reason to be angry anymore but he knew that wasn't true. Even if he was there, he still wasn't Holy Rome. Holy Rome had died hundreds of years ago and had been replaced by Germany. He suddenly felt anger towards himself because, even if he didn't remember doing these things, he could have prevented them. He could have stayed. He felt tears prick the corners of his eyes.

"Feli, I'm so sorry. You have every right to be angry at me and if I could change what I did, I would. Please believe me. But please don't blame yourself."

Feli looked up at him with tear stained eyes. "Ludwig, I already told you, I'm not mad at you."

Ludwig stared at him with wide eyes. "How? From what you've said I could have prevented the whole thing. And even as Germany, I'm making the same mistakes all over again."

Feli reached up and cupped his face while using his thumb to wipe away the tears that were slowly beginning to run down Ludwig's cheek. "But you're here. You did come back, so you kept your promise. You may not remember anything from back then, but you're alive. That's what matters to me, at least that's what I've decided. And it's okay for you to make mistakes, even if they are repeats. I'm sorry I said that, that wasn't fair to you. But this time, you have me by your side. Because no matter what you decide to do, whether it's taking over the world or just staying home drinking beer and eating wurst, I'm not leaving you to do it alone. I haven't since I met you again, and now I'm definitely not going to leave your side."

Ludwig was taken aback by Feliciano's words. When he had come over here, he thought he would have to fight to retain his best friend. But here he was saying that they would never be apart for any reason. Ludwig felt fresh tears in his eyes as now clasped Feli's hand with both of his. He had no idea how he could ever repay him for anything, ever.

Feliciano raised both of Ludwig's hands and pulled him up and towards him.

"It's late, and there will be time tomorrow to talk some more. You should sleep."

Feli released one of Ludwig's hands long enough to pull back the bed sheets enough for him to slide in beside him. He moved closer to the center of the mattress to make room for Ludwig.

Ludwig kicked off his shoes and quickly snuggled in beside Feli, their hands clasped together between their bodies. Despite the position being something completely new, it felt familiar and natural for them.

Feliciano began to speak again, sounding much happier than he had when Ludwig had first entered the room. "I'm sorry if I made you think I was upset at you. I never meant for that to happen."

"That wasn't your fault. You can blame your brother for yelling at me and making things sound dire."

Feli laughed softly. "Speaking of brothers, how's Prussia's face?"

Ludwig felt himself smile a little. "He has a black eye. I think he might be a little scared of you now. He had no idea you had that in you. As a matter of fact, neither did I."

Feliciano beamed at him. "I can fight when I want to!"

Ludwig smiled again and took his hands out of Feli's. He looked very disappointed to have the loss of contact but sighed in content as Ludwig instead wrapped his arms around him and pulled him to his chest.

They were both silent for a few minutes before Ludwig spoke. "There's just one last thing that's bothering me."

"What is it?"

"I don't even know how old I actually am."

Feli giggled at that. An actual Feliciano giggle that shook his whole body.

Ludwig felt his face split into a grin and brought his hand up to Feli's head letting his hair slide between his fingers. "Do you know?"

"I'm not sure exactly, but we've known each other since the 900's. So much older than you thought."

Ludwig considered this for a minute before reaching the conclusion that -

"I'm older than Prussia."

Feli laughed again, this time loudly. "That must be the real reason he didn't want to tell you all this time," he joked.

Ludwig laughed too. "Must be. I'll definitely have to ask him about that."

Feli shifted in Ludwig's arms till his head was tilted back and he was looking at Ludwig. "I missed you."

"I thought you were trying not to look at me as Holy Rome."

"I didn't mean as Holy Rome. Well of course I did miss you like that. But I meant just in the last few days. I don't like to be away from you. I can be around everyone else in the world, but if you're not there with me, it feels like I'm alone. You're the only one who has always put up with me and treated me like an equal rather than just a nuisance they have to actually like having me around."

Ludwig tightened him arms around Feli and leaned in towards him until their lips met. The kiss was chaste but conveyed everything they felt for one another and promised the beginning of something new.

When they broke apart, Feli smiled and snuggled into Ludwig's chest. Ludwig knew in that moment that they would be just fine. In fact, they would be much better than he had imagined. Ludwig began to drift off to sleep, happiness almost overwhelming him, when he heard Feliciano speak softly.

"Ever since the 900's, I have always loved you. But for the last hundred years, you've made me happier than I ever thought possible."

For the first time in days, Ludwig's mind was blissfully blank.


End file.
